Oh My Tragic… Confession I am not Perfect

Hey everyone!! It has been almost a year since I’ve written and honestly it seems like it’s a trend. I’m good for a few months then blah. I am back and hopefully for good. But I’m not perfect… IJS.

So I went through a funk. I was dealing with some self pity and some loneliness and I had to have God kick me in the rear for me to realize that I did this to myself. I isolated myself. I pushed people away. I stopped calling, texting, visiting, inviting. Why did I do this?

Can I be real with y’all? Who am I kidding I am always real with y’all. I stopped doing all those things cause I was sick of being the only one doing the pursuing. Wouldn’t you get tired of always being the one making the invitations, or trying to make a friendship work, etcetera, etcetera? I got tired of it so I stopped and realized that God made me to be that person. That person that gets people together. That person that organizes events, that sends encouragement to a friend or just a hello to make them feel like they are important or being thought of. I think at some point I became this person seeking for something that God solely can give.

ACCEPTANCE

He accepts me how I am . Sins and all!! Yes I have my faults, and yes I sin, and sometimes I feel like throwing an orange at a stranger without any cause at all. (This thought really happened to me a few years back). But He accepts me as I am ! With my yellow hair, and attitude. (This is me ranting, cause it wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t have rant in here somewhere, IJS).

End Rant

Changing subject like a crazy person.( I am all over the place)

Have you ever compared yourself to anyone or your life to someone else’s?

God has really opened my eyes. This passed week He has shown me that by isolating myself I have robbed others from the blessings He is trying to distribute to others through me.

In a devotional I am reading hospitality is brought up. Have you ever not invited someone over to your house because your house was not up to par? Your house is a mess? Or your life is a mess and your house displays said mess? Well in the devotional it says that by not inviting that person you might be robbing the person for a blessing. Yes ! You are robbing them from a blessing. Your invitation could be the highlight of their day and because of your own insecurities you have taken that away from them. How selfish have I been? How selfish can we be? Time to change it up a bit and start blessing the socks off people. I challenge you to do the same. Invite someone over, have a party. MESS AND ALL!!! Love y’all

-JMAAIJS

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A day at the DMV… Tragic… IJS

“Now serving, J848 at station 21, now serving J849 at station 16… My number is J983!!!

Hubby said to write a blog so that’s what I am doing. I have the time now.

I haven’t had to come to the DMV for 10 years!! Since I got married and had to change my name on my driver’s license. Thank goodness my mother in law is amazing and has both kids cause I could only imagine sitting here waiting to be called when there are like 135 people before you. That’s what happens when you get to the DMV at 11:22. Ugh!!! Hopefully, it goes fast.

DMV people are miserable. Smile Jesus loves you. IJS

It’s 1:11 and I am still here. Made good conversation with my neighbors, rooting each other on. This is insane. My butt hurts and it’s cold in here. Seriously for me to get cold it has to be really cold. I will probably be here another hour.

My friends are gone…

“Now serving J934 At station 16…” Ahhhhhhh…

3:22 – 4 hours later and I am still here and no one is talking to me. Lol.

“Now serving J968 at station 8…”

15 people ahead of me, I can see the light at the end of this tunnel!!

3 people ahead…

4:02 And done with the information, picture and paying portion. The lady was pretty rude, not even a smile. I can understand, I shouldn’t be smiling right now after 4 hours almost 5 hours waiting to get this done. I gave her an excellent review and then she gave me a smile even a Happy New Year! Yay! Be the light in the darkness right?

And Now waiting to be called for my license to be given to me. And the wait continues. Lol

4:22 and finally after exactly 5 hours I am done and on my way to do some retail therapy that I totally deserve… IJS.

Never again…

-JMAAIJS

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year everyone!! I can’t believe we are in 2017!  And can’t wait for what the Lord has in store for me and my family!  

Sooo there is this thing that people do in the beginning of the year called New Year resolutions!  Do you have one?? A lot of times people make New Year resolutions like: lose 75 lbs by the end of the year (oh my Lord) or get out of debt or go on a family vacation (but I still need to get out of debt) or wake up every morning before work to talk to God(this one is important). Even though we make these resolutions how many of us really complete them?  I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there that can keep their New Year resolutions, but the majority of us can’t.  And you know why? Cause we lack commitment, we don’t get an accountability partner, we try and do it on our own and we fail. IJS. TRAGIC!!  Soooo I am not saying don’t make a New Year resolution but make sure it’s realistic.  I have one New Year resolution. It’s nothing huge or hard but it’s something important and takes determination, energy I might not have, I will struggle and I might fail some days but it’s okay. My New Year resolution is… drum roll please… I am going to clean my face correctly. That’s it. No promise to get out of debt, no promise for family vacation, no weightloss goals, just a simple scrub a dub dub my face! 

Anyways now that I have told y’all my New Year resolution I wanted to share with y’all something I read in my devotion time.  So Mark 9:22-24 says as follows: “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Belief starts with unbelief. Once you confess your unbelief and that you want to believe, then the Lord will move and work. When you open your mind up to the impossible, God will make the impossible, possible.  

It might not make sense to some but I wanted to share this to encourage those struggling with believing that anything is possible if you just BELIEVE.  

Again Happy New Year and may the Lord bless you in this next adventure!! 

Confession: I’m at a loss…

I haven’t written in a few months now and I don’t know why. Probably distracted with everything that is going on in my life.  So there are a few things weighing on me and normally I am open about everything that happens in my life but right now I don’t feel like opening up. I feel like keeping everything inside and that right there my friends is what’s hurting me.  On the outside I am all smiles and seem like I have the Joy of the Lord in me and that nothing can bring me down, but this, this what I am holding on to seemingly by myself has me messed up in the inside.  
I seek the Lord, yet I don’t see Him, I call out to Him yet I don’t hear Him.  (This sucks)

Where did I go wrong?  Am I being selfish? What should I do? All questions I keep asking myself daily.  

I know I am all over the place but thats just how I am feeling.  

Honestly, I am going to stop writing now cause I don’t know where I am going with this. That’s how lost I am. Lost. 

Confession: I am running on empty

Sooo… I haven’t written a post in two months and I think it’s about time.  I don’t know why I haven’t written, I had started writing a few weeks ago and everything I wanted to write left my mind the minute I started writing. TRAGIC!! 
Anyways…

So a lot has happened in these two months: my oldest son started Pre K, I started working at the school he goes to as his music teacher,  we both got sick, Gene Wilder died (one of my faves),etc, etc.  So I am pretty sure I am missing a few things but I don’t care enough right now to remember. Yeah that’s how I feel right now. 

So today I was driving home from picking up my youngest and the gas light turns on and I start crying.  I’m listening to a song “I surrender, I surrender all” and the gas light flashes on… Really?! Really?!   I have this heavy feeling in my chest like someone is stepping on my chest.  Yep that’s me right now. IJS. I don’t know why I am feeling this way… actually I think I do but …  Anyways, so have you ever been surrounded by many but still feel lonely?  Well that’s how I feel.  I have great friends, loving family, wonderful kids and an amazing husband, yet I feel alone.  

In the middle of this loneliness, I had an encounter with Holy Spirit.  I was driving to my small group this morning when I saw a sign for church for sale so I stopped took a pic and sent it to my husband. After small group my husband text me letting me know that my pastor had been at that same church praying yesterday.  So I decided to stop by the church and pray.  And when I started praying I felt this overwhelming feeling and I started crying.  I kept crying until I drove away from the church.  Amazing right?? Might not be amazing to you but to me , to have an encounter like that and to feel His presence and to know I am not alone was amazing!  So why did I feel alone this afternoon?! I honestly do not know the answer to that question, but I do know that God is with me and He will not forsake me in this desert that I am standing in. I don’t know what God is wanting in my life at this moment but I definitely know I want a part of what He has for me.  What that looks like I don’t know but I want to see what it looks like.  

Alone or not, running on empty or on a full tank it doesn’t matter because God has my back. 

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,    and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Thanks for reading! Til next time. Like, share and meditate. 

God bless, 

Confession: Sometimes I don’t shave my armpits…

IJS!!! So, I just got back from a mission trip with the youth group of my church.  (I will be writing about this later)We were gone for a whole week. This was my first time on a mission trip without my parents or my husband and it was challenging, to say the least.  

Sooo… I got hairy armpits and I can not lie… I went to the mission trip without shaving and I was going to come back without shaving. No big deal.  I don’t shave all the time and in my opinion that’s no big deal.  Anyways,  so we are in our fourth day of the trip and one of the college students and I have a inside joke about my hairy armpits. I had asked him in the beginning of the trip if he minded me not shaving armpits or if it made him uncomfortable? He went ahead at this time and poked my said hairy armpit. Ewwww you may say, gross, hairy armpits!!!! But anyhow, on the fourth day I had my arm up for some reason and he started staring at it. I told him jokingly ” Stop staring at my armpits” At this point one of the leaders says”You might want to shave because we are going to be in a more public setting.”(something like that) Ummm… What? OH no he didn’t!! It took so much to not give him an attitude and chew his head off.  So my emotions at this time were all out of wack.  I go to the room to calm down and think of it rationally. I know he wasn’t telling me to shave to be mean. In my mind I know he is trying to get in on the joke between me and the other person but all I am thinking is he wants me to look a certain way for when we go to this church.  I know it’s not a big deal but after dealing with an image problem and now finally being at a place where I don’t give a crap what people think of me it’s hard for someone that respect to tell me to do something he knows I don’t want to do. Anyways all this to say I shaved and then he apologized and I was like I shaved for nothing cause I let my emotions overrule my thoughts and actions when I knew all along that he didn’t mean it the way I heard it. Tragic!!! The enemy was trying to take my joy away and I kind of let him.  I know this post isn’t as exciting as my other posts but I felt the need to write it and get it off my chest. At the end of the day, we had a great time hairy armpits or not.  It’s not always about what you want but what example you are giving with your reaction and actions to the younger generation. I had 6 girls looking at me for what my reaction was and I prayed to God I had the right reaction. 

In conclusion: Don’t let the enemy take your joy away for the simple fact that you don’t want to shave your armpits. IJS. HAIRY ARMPITS!!

Read, subscribe, share, like, comment!  Thanks till next time. 

Confession(short post): I get annoyed by my husband…

First of all I love my husband. And he knows he annoys me. So I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and we’ve known each other for 15 years. And he has been my best friend since we first met. It’s crazy we met and we instantly clicked.  So you can imagine why he can annoy me.  He knows me so well that he knows how he can push my buttons.  If you would have known me 15 years ago you would know that I had a bad attitude(that will be in another post) and I didn’t tolerate people pushing my buttons.  Anyways, so today he annoyed me and I didn’t react the way I usually do( biting his head off). I just laughed and let him be silly for a change. I think he appreciated it. Love you hubby!! 

I know this was short but I just wanted to let wives to know to let your husbands be silly and be silly with him. It really does make a difference in there attitude towards you when you laugh and be silly with them. PEACE OUT!!!!!!