Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year everyone!! I can’t believe we are in 2017!  And can’t wait for what the Lord has in store for me and my family!  

Sooo there is this thing that people do in the beginning of the year called New Year resolutions!  Do you have one?? A lot of times people make New Year resolutions like: lose 75 lbs by the end of the year (oh my Lord) or get out of debt or go on a family vacation (but I still need to get out of debt) or wake up every morning before work to talk to God(this one is important). Even though we make these resolutions how many of us really complete them?  I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there that can keep their New Year resolutions, but the majority of us can’t.  And you know why? Cause we lack commitment, we don’t get an accountability partner, we try and do it on our own and we fail. IJS. TRAGIC!!  Soooo I am not saying don’t make a New Year resolution but make sure it’s realistic.  I have one New Year resolution. It’s nothing huge or hard but it’s something important and takes determination, energy I might not have, I will struggle and I might fail some days but it’s okay. My New Year resolution is… drum roll please… I am going to clean my face correctly. That’s it. No promise to get out of debt, no promise for family vacation, no weightloss goals, just a simple scrub a dub dub my face! 

Anyways now that I have told y’all my New Year resolution I wanted to share with y’all something I read in my devotion time.  So Mark 9:22-24 says as follows: “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Belief starts with unbelief. Once you confess your unbelief and that you want to believe, then the Lord will move and work. When you open your mind up to the impossible, God will make the impossible, possible.  

It might not make sense to some but I wanted to share this to encourage those struggling with believing that anything is possible if you just BELIEVE.  

Again Happy New Year and may the Lord bless you in this next adventure!! 

Confession: I’m at a loss…

I haven’t written in a few months now and I don’t know why. Probably distracted with everything that is going on in my life.  So there are a few things weighing on me and normally I am open about everything that happens in my life but right now I don’t feel like opening up. I feel like keeping everything inside and that right there my friends is what’s hurting me.  On the outside I am all smiles and seem like I have the Joy of the Lord in me and that nothing can bring me down, but this, this what I am holding on to seemingly by myself has me messed up in the inside.  
I seek the Lord, yet I don’t see Him, I call out to Him yet I don’t hear Him.  (This sucks)

Where did I go wrong?  Am I being selfish? What should I do? All questions I keep asking myself daily.  

I know I am all over the place but thats just how I am feeling.  

Honestly, I am going to stop writing now cause I don’t know where I am going with this. That’s how lost I am. Lost. 

Confession: I am running on empty

Sooo… I haven’t written a post in two months and I think it’s about time.  I don’t know why I haven’t written, I had started writing a few weeks ago and everything I wanted to write left my mind the minute I started writing. TRAGIC!! 
Anyways…

So a lot has happened in these two months: my oldest son started Pre K, I started working at the school he goes to as his music teacher,  we both got sick, Gene Wilder died (one of my faves),etc, etc.  So I am pretty sure I am missing a few things but I don’t care enough right now to remember. Yeah that’s how I feel right now. 

So today I was driving home from picking up my youngest and the gas light turns on and I start crying.  I’m listening to a song “I surrender, I surrender all” and the gas light flashes on… Really?! Really?!   I have this heavy feeling in my chest like someone is stepping on my chest.  Yep that’s me right now. IJS. I don’t know why I am feeling this way… actually I think I do but …  Anyways, so have you ever been surrounded by many but still feel lonely?  Well that’s how I feel.  I have great friends, loving family, wonderful kids and an amazing husband, yet I feel alone.  

In the middle of this loneliness, I had an encounter with Holy Spirit.  I was driving to my small group this morning when I saw a sign for church for sale so I stopped took a pic and sent it to my husband. After small group my husband text me letting me know that my pastor had been at that same church praying yesterday.  So I decided to stop by the church and pray.  And when I started praying I felt this overwhelming feeling and I started crying.  I kept crying until I drove away from the church.  Amazing right?? Might not be amazing to you but to me , to have an encounter like that and to feel His presence and to know I am not alone was amazing!  So why did I feel alone this afternoon?! I honestly do not know the answer to that question, but I do know that God is with me and He will not forsake me in this desert that I am standing in. I don’t know what God is wanting in my life at this moment but I definitely know I want a part of what He has for me.  What that looks like I don’t know but I want to see what it looks like.  

Alone or not, running on empty or on a full tank it doesn’t matter because God has my back. 

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,    and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Thanks for reading! Til next time. Like, share and meditate. 

God bless, 

Confession: Sometimes I don’t shave my armpits…

IJS!!! So, I just got back from a mission trip with the youth group of my church.  (I will be writing about this later)We were gone for a whole week. This was my first time on a mission trip without my parents or my husband and it was challenging, to say the least.  

Sooo… I got hairy armpits and I can not lie… I went to the mission trip without shaving and I was going to come back without shaving. No big deal.  I don’t shave all the time and in my opinion that’s no big deal.  Anyways,  so we are in our fourth day of the trip and one of the college students and I have a inside joke about my hairy armpits. I had asked him in the beginning of the trip if he minded me not shaving armpits or if it made him uncomfortable? He went ahead at this time and poked my said hairy armpit. Ewwww you may say, gross, hairy armpits!!!! But anyhow, on the fourth day I had my arm up for some reason and he started staring at it. I told him jokingly ” Stop staring at my armpits” At this point one of the leaders says”You might want to shave because we are going to be in a more public setting.”(something like that) Ummm… What? OH no he didn’t!! It took so much to not give him an attitude and chew his head off.  So my emotions at this time were all out of wack.  I go to the room to calm down and think of it rationally. I know he wasn’t telling me to shave to be mean. In my mind I know he is trying to get in on the joke between me and the other person but all I am thinking is he wants me to look a certain way for when we go to this church.  I know it’s not a big deal but after dealing with an image problem and now finally being at a place where I don’t give a crap what people think of me it’s hard for someone that respect to tell me to do something he knows I don’t want to do. Anyways all this to say I shaved and then he apologized and I was like I shaved for nothing cause I let my emotions overrule my thoughts and actions when I knew all along that he didn’t mean it the way I heard it. Tragic!!! The enemy was trying to take my joy away and I kind of let him.  I know this post isn’t as exciting as my other posts but I felt the need to write it and get it off my chest. At the end of the day, we had a great time hairy armpits or not.  It’s not always about what you want but what example you are giving with your reaction and actions to the younger generation. I had 6 girls looking at me for what my reaction was and I prayed to God I had the right reaction. 

In conclusion: Don’t let the enemy take your joy away for the simple fact that you don’t want to shave your armpits. IJS. HAIRY ARMPITS!!

Read, subscribe, share, like, comment!  Thanks till next time. 

Confession(short post): I get annoyed by my husband…

First of all I love my husband. And he knows he annoys me. So I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and we’ve known each other for 15 years. And he has been my best friend since we first met. It’s crazy we met and we instantly clicked.  So you can imagine why he can annoy me.  He knows me so well that he knows how he can push my buttons.  If you would have known me 15 years ago you would know that I had a bad attitude(that will be in another post) and I didn’t tolerate people pushing my buttons.  Anyways, so today he annoyed me and I didn’t react the way I usually do( biting his head off). I just laughed and let him be silly for a change. I think he appreciated it. Love you hubby!! 

I know this was short but I just wanted to let wives to know to let your husbands be silly and be silly with him. It really does make a difference in there attitude towards you when you laugh and be silly with them. PEACE OUT!!!!!!

Confession: I laugh at myself…

All the time…

So, last time I posted I wrote about how I am very comfortable with my body.  I am happier than I have been in a while.  And then… Saturday morning (4am) I sit on the toilet aannnddd crack… I break the toilet seat. At the moment, I was like what the ??  Satan well played, well played… And then I started cracking up.  Four in the morning I am in my bathroom cracking up cause I broke the toilet seat.  After what happened on Friday and then this happening, all I could do was laugh. THE IRONY!!!  If I were a younger version of me I would have been on the scale checking how much weight I have to lose, I would have been embarrassed to share this event with my husband and the whole world(lol), but now I just laugh.  I have the joy of the Lord and no one can take that away from me because He Himself gave it to me. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4.  Rejoice in Him ALWAYS! Not only in the good times but also in bad. Not only when you don’t crack the toilet seat but also when you do. LOL
Anyways, needless to say I need a new toilet seat cause every time I sit on it I get pinched. Not fun, not fun at all. I’m just saying.  Too much information??  Get used to it cause that’s how I roll. I hope y’all laughed at me and with me and enjoyed the read! Till next time!

(this was a short post but I had to share this!

Confession: I almost fell…

…And you would have never none.

Did you know that 4% of females in the United States will have Bulimia Nervosa during their lifetime and 3.9% of these individuals will die from it?  Also, did you know that eating disorders are a daily struggle for 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States and 4 out of 10 individuals have either personally experienced an eating disorder or know someone who has?  Bulimia is an eating disorder were the individual binge eats, feels guilty, then purges.

(this information was found :http://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/statistics-studies )

So it begins…the temptations and the lies of Satan.  Yes, I said Satan.  Some people think he is a figment of out imagination but he’s not; he is very real.

I feel like the closer I get to God the more trials and temptations I endure.  So today I got to work and I noticed to late that I had left my laptop at home, so I decide to work from home.  By the time I get home it’s time to eat lunch (I hadn’t had breakfast or my coffee).  I decide to invite my friend to meet me for lunch, she says she will text me when she is available.  I have a small sandwich cause I am really hungry.  Not even 20 minutes later she text me she is ready and that she will meet me at the restaurant.  In my mind I’m like, I just ate… I could just throw up… I’m just doing it so I can eat at the restaurant… It’s not hurting anyone…no one will know…

Background to this episode:  When I was a teenager I had very low self esteem, I was always thicker/bigger than my classmates/friends.  I had people in my life always telling me that I was fat, big boned, chubby, that I needed to watch my weight, bla bla bla.  At some point in my senior year al the negativity got to me and I thought I should do something about it.  So I started making myself throw up every time I felt overwhelmed with having to fit a certain image.

Fast forward to the person I am today.  I am a Christian woman. I have a loving family and a supportive husband.  I am a very confident person and am not insecure about my body anymore.  I’m actually the happiest I’ve been with my body in a while. (I might be a little to secure, if that’s possible. I’m just saying.)  The old me is dead, but guess what?  I almost fell…WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??!!  I took a paintbrush to the bathroom(yes a paintbrush), I kneeled down in front of the toilet, stuck the end of the paintbrush in my mouth(at this point my mind or Holy Spirit, definitely Holy Spirit was screaming at me to stop), and then I stopped.  I took the paintbrush out of my mouth and looked at it, stood up, grabbed my phone, my purse and keys and went to meet my friend for lunch.  Yes, I almost fell and I might be tempted again cause temptations and tribulations are ALWAYS going to happen.  I can’t change that.  What I can do is make the choice to not fall into the cycles from my past.  Thanks for reading. Till next time.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13